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After three incredible dates with a straight-identified woman, she ghosted me. She even spoke about her time sexually exploring at Wellesley College, when she hooked up with other women. When I asked our mutual friend, who introduced us, what happened, she told me bluntly, “Yeah, she was freaked out by the fact that you were bi.” Apparently, she was also too cowardly to tell me herself (or to at least make up a reason why she didn’t want to speak to me again). On our multiple dates, she didn’t seem uncomfortable when I openly discussed my bisexuality.“More specifically, that women tend to place greater emphasis on social and personal characteristics compared to men, when assessing sexual partners.” A plethora of research has indicated that straight women prefer men with “traditional masculine qualities.” Thus, sexual attractiveness could also be influenced by the fact that these women rated bi men as being significantly more feminine appearing than straight men.

“Therefore, the group isn't necessarily representative of the wider community of gay men, so it's unwise to apply these results to the general population of gay men,” Gleason said.Sadly, the woman I briefly dated is not alone in her beliefs.In a survey of over 1,000 women, conducted by Glamour in 2016, 63% of women said they wouldn’t date a man who’s had sex with another man. This includes all men who’ve experimented with another man, even if it only happened once!Men would either ask me to explain what the term meant, incorrectly assume they knew exactly what it meant, or completely misidentify me.It quickly became a frustrating ritual for me, a self-identified queer woman and someone with a graduate-level education in gender and queer studies, to constantly be in a position of educating.

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