I kissed dating goodbye thoughts

” Beaty’s critique is well taken, and it’s certainly true that purity culture built a series of (often wildly unrealistic) expectations about the marriage relationship that awaited kids who courted. Each one of those things altered a person’s self-definition.

But I think it did something even darker — in its effect (if not its intent), it reversed the gospel message, teaching Christian kids that they risked being defined by their sins, not by Christ. They were no longer “pure.” They could never be “pure” again. A young person would come to me and say, “I screwed up.” They would really mean, “I’m ruined.” Their storybook dreams were dead.

There are two states of being — virgin or not, teetotaler or not — and if you’re not, then you might as well indulge yourself.

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If they’re “ruined,” then why should they care about obedience?Also — and this is crucial for understanding purity culture — they fervently believed in a specific earthly reward for their child’s youthful obedience.Courtship represented the best method of ensuring a healthy, sexually vibrant marriage to a faithful spouse.Harris burst into prominence as a young Christian with every author’s dream: a giant, influential first-book bestseller.It was called , and it sold almost a million copies.

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