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Sure, I can get a few dollars off the price of some tourist souvenirs in the market and maybe even bargain down my overnight bus ticket a little, but I’m no match for Kach.
For Kach, everything is a potential discount, matter how small.
Having left Britain some time ago and having now been with Kach for over a year, I thought I’d reflect on some of the things I’ve learned being in a relationship with a Filipina and how I may have changed in the process. ‘They must want something from me,’ you would think, or even more sadly, ‘What? Not only that, but quite literally out of nowhere, there will appear enough food to feed a small village for a week.
No, seriously it’s awesome, Filipina grandmas have magic food powers!
Being from the United Kingdom, you inevitably become accustomed to Western ways and of course in turn, Western women. In the UK, if a person, known or unknown, were to arrive at your door, for what we’ll assume is some good and honest reason, then you would at first be a little suspicious. Even before you can manage a single, socially awkward , ‘Err, hello, so nice to meet you,’ you’ll already have met Mum, Dad, the grandparents and anyone else who happens to be in easy reach.
She will quite happily spend half an hour trying to negotiate 5 cents off the price of an apple and then perform a victory dance on upon completion of the deal! The mysterious truth It’s a well-trodden stereotype in the West that Asian women are exceptionally loving, loyal and generous to their men and this is certainly true of Filipino women (though I’ve only known one! However, let it be crystal clear that this is not the same as subservient; personally I want a relationship, an equal partner.
It’s the little things that count, like lovingly prepared home-cooked meals every day and random head massages – not because you asked or she feels she has to, but because she wants to. She may be extremely loving, caring and loyal, but that doesn’t mean she’ll let you get away with being a shit boyfriend or husband.
I will never haggle like a Filipino Growing up in Africa, I had plenty of opportunities to observe my parents negotiating down the price of everything from fruit and vegetables, to decorative woodcarvings and even (ahem) speeding tickets.
So obviously some of this bargaining power must have rubbed off on me, right?