Maintain friendships while dating
But if those tiffs, or lingering feelings that you're not getting out as much as you're putting in, happen more often than not, your friendship could be unhealthy, or even toxic.“Friendships can be protective and rewarding, nurturing and uplifting.
What a friendship should not bring in to your life is stress,” says Tammy Shaklee, relationship expert and founder of H4M Matchmaking.“If you notice that you’re always the one counseling, loaning, or saving in the relationship, then that friendship has the potential to be toxic,” says Christal D. Sometimes gently pointing it out can help, as the friend might not recognize the issue.“A simple thing that you can do is to say, ‘Right now I just need someone to listen to me,’” says Perelmutter.But when it crosses a line into jealousy—including aggressive competition, one-upping, and excessive attempts at leveling the playing field by diminishing your accomplishments—things become less kosher. That’s not to say that good friends won’t have fleeting moments of jealousy—that's just life, "but they work to contain those emotions and express them appropriately, rather then through veiled insults or overt competitiveness," explains Dr. “If you're always walking away from them feeling down on yourself, or having to talk yourself into why that person is your friend, that person might not be right for you at this time,” says Fati Marie, California-based certified integrative holistic health coach at Encinitas’ Four Moons Spa.“Good friends are like cheerleaders: they root you on and take pride in your success. “Listen to your gut and start taking small steps back, away from any scenarios that might connect you two." While, of course, some friends are simply honest-to-a-fault—which means you’ll occasionally face negative reactions that are tough to stomach—those same straightforward pals will also prove equally supportive and consistently build you up. Nicolosi stresses the importance of paying attention to internal cues. Do you feel weighed down, drained, and unsure of yourself?